I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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