absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
