After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
