New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
