the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
