i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I am puke
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
