Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
