lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
And then the night went full on bisexual.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
