I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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