gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
