I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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