Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
