I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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