I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize