You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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