my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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