I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
