There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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