That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
