better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
