I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
