Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"

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(856): View more from New Jersey

you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness

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(602): View more from Arizona

Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

I like the way you think.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Why Weren't you wearing pants?

(647): View more from Ontario

because pants are for people with no imagination

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(703): View more from Virginia

we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.

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(631): View more from New York

So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it

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(330): View more from Ohio

I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore

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