just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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