Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
