ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
