No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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