You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
