she smelled like a LAN party
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Even my vagina gasped.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize