legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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