she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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