I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize