i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
