is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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