Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize