Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
