Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
