I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
