haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
