I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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