i permit you to call me
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
