Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
