He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
