Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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