i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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