North Korea, Best Korea!
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
