I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
