I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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