I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you would pick up someone in the library
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
