So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
