guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
