so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
