it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I believe in your delicious
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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