Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize