we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
