ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
