1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
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