i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
