If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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