Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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