I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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