you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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