I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
