They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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