I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
