would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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