she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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