Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize