He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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