You made me cry and you don't even care
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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