Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
