it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
