Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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