i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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