Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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