tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
a search helicopter?!
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
