I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
