She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize