It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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