UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
