Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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