For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize