he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
